The Fleecing of Stoughton, MA

I had to stop for a quick bite at the Subway near Ikea.

While eating my over-toasted “veggie MAX” I overheard the following exchange:

Sandwich Artist#1: Make me a salad, bitch!

Sandwich Artist#2: Why I always gotta make you a salad? What? You stupid? Make your own!

Sandwich Artist#1: Whateva… I gotta hang this shit up anyway.

[Sandwich Artist#1 proceeds to the front window, tapes up a sign, then gives Sandwich Artist #2 a scowling look.]

Sandwich Artist#2: What’s yo problem? Why you looking like that?

Sandwich Artist#1: Oh you know. One of these you’re gonna wake up dead.

Myself (not a sandwich artist): [inner dialogue] Why do some people call them pepperoncinis and why do some people call them banana peppers? Oh, and how does someone wake up dead?

I finished and left. When I got in the car, I looked at the sign that Sandwich Artist#1 had taped to the glass. It read:

NOW HIRING: Crab an Application.

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